A Halloween Recipe for Soothing the Nervous Nellies
in the Honors Class at Fairfield Junior High
(with apologies to William Shakespeare)

Round the school hallways go
The honors class, they're nervous so!
End of term is drawing nigh;
Less than 4.0...they'll die!
So let's mix this magic charm
before we study Animal Farm.

Double, double, toil and trouble,
Fire burn and cauldron bubble.

First throw in some ectoplasm
To ward off Thompson's dark sarcasm.
Then a strand of Van Vleet's hair
To keep back geographic scares.
The colored nail from Money's thumb
‘cause honors math makes their brains numb.
Spit of Miner, phlegm of Earl
Is good for these bright boys and girls.
Then to top this potion off
Bring the blood of Brinkerhoff!

Double, double, toil and trouble,
Fire burn and cauldron bubble.

Drink it down or slurp it up.
The contents of Bill Shakespeare's cup
Will ward off nerves and butterflies
And keep those grades up in the sky.
So do not fuss and groan and pout
Now that time is running out.
Accept A-minuses and B's
Or drink more potions just like these!

MRT 10/27/2000 (Revised 10/29/06)