Grammar Punk Hall of Fame

March 24, 2009: Review Comma Rule #1

Erikka Crosgrove: The gruesome giant kidnapped the young child and his dog because they looked like small sausages, but they tasted disgusting.
Sidnie Squires: Something distracted Olga, but it was only a goat.
Brandon Stone: William slurped his wine, but Willow quietly ate her weiner sandwich.
Ashley Kotter: Jessica sang karaoke to Justin Timberlake, and I joined in.
Lauren Thaler: The bears were eating honey, but then the bees came from below them.
Jadie Ward: Theodore the Leprachaun bit all who weren't wearing green, but thankfully none were in critical condition.
???: Do opposites attract, or do opposites plop along with food?
Devin Anderson: The pot of poo looked appetizing, but I chose popcorn instead.

March 24, 2009: Review Comma Rules #3 & #4: Use commas to offset appositives and interrupting material.

Clarissa Jarrett: Conner, my ice-cream-happy friend, was super excited for the hockey game.
Ryan Kemp: Celery, the preferred vegetable of many celebrities and athletes, sickens me.
Carly Benesch: Wow! The fattest priest in Russia, who was screaming rude language at the time, fell on Brad and actually killed him.
Maddie Nielsen: Wow! Rabbi Raul, the one who ruled at video games, beat me at Halo.
Thomas Roberts: Icky Vicky, known for killing animals, stalked her way through the forest.
???: Dang! Free ferrets, especially those who sweat a lot, may eat your fine petunias.
???: Ah, I can't wait until summer, when I actually enjoy my life, to sneak away from Father and ride the ferry across the river to see Effie.
Josie Drott: Alas! The fiery sun, glaring down on me with no effort at all, made me feel small and insignificant inside.
Jessica Andrus: Riley, who was not very smart, sprained his wrist while writing a song.
Lexi Nelson: Mrs. Corry, usually the most courageous and cool teacher, fell off the colorful chair.
Taurus Jones: On Thursday we went to Colorado, a big state, where we went on many adventures.

March 2, 2009: Review Comma Rule #1 (A L 4 conjunction) & Semicolon Rule #1 (I N 3 adjective)

Garrett Bigelow: Injecting alkaline substances into a student can be dangerous; it may cause a rapid drop in intelligence as well as a decrease in a student's ability to listen to the teacher.
Annie Tanner: In schooling, teachers have the opportunity to be nice; they usually choose to torture kids with homework, instead.
Mitch Allen: Our new student, Linda, came from Indiana; I wanted to be her best friend.
Max Clemens: The lunatic ran laughing from Fairfield, and he will head for Lahaina Beach.
Julie Dyer: Vince was interested in taking art; his parents made him take science.
Julie Dyer: Cali and Haley looked forward to playing volleyball on the beach this summer, but they found out that the team had been cancelled.
Mr. T: Registration for 10th grade takes place in two weeks; it's wise to know what classes you will be taking.
Rosie Gerrish: If you look behind the dumpster, you'll see the dead body of Ingrid Inglethorpe; I killed her in my sleep.
Samuel Stout: Alfred always hoped for summer, but his practical friend Ally liked winter.
Ryan Kemp: All of the caterpillars hatched in April, but four of them got squished and died a painful death.
Kenzie Crow: School has been boring today; I almost fell asleep in time-consuming math class.
Jordan Parkinson: All summer long we went to the mall, but Carly and I also played ball.
Jodran Parkinson: In school we saw incredible baby pandas; we were also intrigued to study Shakespeare.
Fernanda Sanchez: Ingrid was my best friend; we did everything together at school.
Jason Moss: This Internet class is definitely the most boring classs I've ever taken; I fell asleep in class three times last term.
Orlando Rodriguez: I will be playing football for Layton High next year, and our Lancers are the best!
Mr. T: Trnet talked almost continually during the school year, so he spent the summer doing community service to make up his failing citizenship.
Trent Christensen: All summer I vowed to get back at Mr. Thompson for giving me bad citizenship grades, but I was always gone doing make-up work in Alabama.

December 19, 2008: Concrete Nouns
Concrete nouns exist in the physical world. They can be touched.

Madi Hyte: My grandma (the one who lives in Ukraine) never burns or ruins the Christmas dinner, so everyone is running to get some.
Nate Wade: Leon said, "Let's buy a Christmas tree immediately!"
Amanda Rice: Mr. Thompson is becoming a rare, radical, rapping sensation.
(Thomas Roberts) Dear Mr. Beard: Beth touches too many bees.
Bryan Beal: Tim drank the juice (it was poisonous) and died.
Jascka Hokanson: Mrs. Augustus gagged down three (3) slices of grass bread.

December 19: Abstract Nouns
Abstract nouns are concepts or ideas that cannot be touched. They are not physical objects.

(Livvy Gerrish) Chickens: We can feel the kick but not the cruelty behind it.
Olivia Bitner: Why was Riker riding my rhino during a time of happiness?
Amanda Richins: My aunt underestimated my unconditional love of fun at Christmas time; it is uncontrolled and unselfish.
Brooke Bohling: She was hoping the happiness, enthusiasm, and hilarity wouldn't hit the hippo.
Max Clemens: Are you sure we flew to Europe just to see the movie about freedom in French?

December 19: Prepositions
Prepositions show the relationship between a noun or pronoun and some other word or phrase in a sentence. (Prepositions are always part of a prepositional phrase.)

Jessica Heslin: In Maine, Mike ran to the goal line and made a touchdown.
Carly Benesch: Willy went wildly over the rainbow to get the white chocolates, fool's gold, and his true love Kryta.
Andrew Weese: Daniel drove his Dodge; he went to the store.
Ashley Adams: "Holidays only bring destruction instead of happiness," she muttered under her breath.
Nate Hill: If he won't fit down the chimney, his reindeer will have to eat him.
Lauren Thaler: Stop before the forest, and then turn left.

December 18, 2008: Verbs
Verbs are words that express action, existence, or condition.

[W A 3 " " Strenuous Activities]

Nate Wade: When Bob asked what I was eating, I exclaimed, "I'm eating a crawling washcloth."
Elisabeth Stucki: While King Arthur was walking, the whacky Knights of Ni told him, "Cut down a tree with a herring!"
Jordan Brown: "When I wake up in the morning," I said, "I waddle to the bathroom to release my body's waste."
Courtnee Wood: Walter yelled, "Whacking watermelon-sized baseballs in the not the way to play baseball!"
Jeremy Benson: "Mr. Wayne has a wicked batting average," said Walter the Walrus.
Janette Jensen: "Did Wanda help you lift Mr. Washington's cherry tree?" Thomas asked his whacky neighbor.
Eric Christensen: "I hate rapidly working," Walter wailed.
Daniel Blackner: "I was snowboarding until I whacked my head on a rock," said Dan.
Josie Drott: "I'm bored," grumbled Waldo, as he watched the water elephants.
Dallin Hales: Walter said, "Stop waxing your wavy legs!"
Mr. T: "Waterski!" warbled Tawny.
Mr. T: Howard wailed, "Crawl!"
Mr. T: "Yawn!" drawled William.

December 18, 2008: Pronouns
Pronouns are words that take the place of nouns in a sentence.

[E L 3 ; Weird People]

Justin Meyers: My dad gets really excited when he rides his elephant to the Lyceum; however, he falls off a lot.
Elisabeth Stucki: Elaine was in love with an elf; he was in love with a polar bear.
Kathie Cardenas: The two people who sit in front of the guy with the blue shirt are way weird; the boy is purple and the girl is pale.
Kenzie Crow: Elliot said she was really strange;; she attacked him with a yellow egg carton.
Rachelle Stewart: Elle told Rachelle that Weiyi Le has a funny personality; he is weird.
Sarah Omer: Elvis was elaborate; he could swing his hips and sing like a king.
Madi Hyte: He told the tale of Lexi the one-eyed monster; she eats people.
Jadie Ward: Albert the illiterate punk was expelled from school; I think he deserved it.
???: He looked at her and fell in love; however, she did not love him back because he was strange.
Dallin Johnson: Ellie loves eating snails; Lee only likes licking them.

December 18, 2008: Interjections
Usually followed by an exclamation mark (!) or comma (,), interjections introduce emotion to a sentence.

[O S 4 , Wild]

Julie Dyer: Shoot! I am so sore that I want to lie down on a soft, fluffy pillow.
Lauren Thaler: Goodness, Roger's dog spoke!
Jason Moss: Shoot, someone shot Oslo.
Shay Thurgood: Eek! Someone set a soundless singing lion on me, so my stomach hurts.
Grace Bertch: OOps, Oscar soared south!
Garry Gregson: Yikes! Oscar, and obsessive freak, just oliterated the neighbor's cows.
Julissa Wilcox: Sorry! I didn't mean to eat some sour oysters, but I couldn't stop myself.
Jadie Ward: Mercy, those boys are pretty boss on the disco floor.
Jessica Sheets: Goodness, some of my obnoxious friends won an Oscar.
Garrett Kemp: Shoot, Johnson shot someone.
Mr. T: Gosh, Bob's goose poops.

December 16, 2008: Adverbs
Adverbs change, modify, limit, and intensify verbs, adjectives, and other adverbs.
They answer questions like these: How? When? Where? To what extent? How much?

2nd Period: [U G 3 " " animals]

Mr. T: "Students today just grunt like orangutans," Mr. T grmubled sadly.
Jessica Heslin: The so-called "ugly" penguin ran very quickly to his generous friends.

3rd Period: [K A 2 " " music/movies]

Carly Benesch: Krysta loudly sang "Kumbaya," scaring away everyone in the movie.
Jordan Parkinson: Katherine softly sang "Baby Bumble Bee" as she threw her baby sister to her grandma, who dropped her loudly.
Jamison Walker: "We are quickly going to buy the movie Killer Koalas before the store runs out," said Kara.
Morgan Palmer: "Quickly run to the movie theater to get us tickets to see Attack of the Koalas!" yelled Steve.
Elisabeth Stucki: Katherine Kowalczik quietly asked, "Have you seen The Dark Knight?"
Mr. T: Elisabeth cackled wickedly, "I'm going to break this DVD if you play Grammar Rock one more time!"

4th Period: [N O 3 " " Wild]

Mr. T: "No!" Clarissa and Krysta groaned agonizingly, "We can't stand anymore of these Grammar Rock videos!"
Garry Gregson: Norbert, a rather "inappropriate" kid, loudly ate blue doughnuts.
Spencer Sargent: "Are you absolutely sure that the test on the bus is not hard?" Don asked.
Ryan Kemp: "No! Don't touch my snowboard!" I said angrily.
Audrey Kaczor: "Write about conjunctions, adverbs, and the once-loud student that I killed," said Mr. Thompson.

5th Period: [H O 5 " " Holidays]

Mr. T: "I thoroughly hate hot apple cider and other such holiday cheer!" shouted Scrooge.
Norm Adams: "Ho ho ho!" hollered the big fat guy in a red suit while loudly yet hisitantly sliding his humongous body down my chimney.
Thomas Roberts: During the holidays, Santa mainly hollers, "Ho ho ho!"
Christian Tanner: "Ho ho ho!" Holly loudly hollered on Halloween.
Nick Oloson: "Happy holidays!" said Holly as she slowly ate horrible doughnuts from Holland.

6th Period: [W I 3 ? Someone in the Class]

???: Why does Kelsey constantly whine and talk with passion while other people are working?
Samuel Stout: Did Josh Lillywhite run to Wisconsin quickly, or did he stop for a shake with Garrett?
Daniel Rueckert: "Does Eric Christensen surely love to eat Willy Wonka bars with white milk?" Josh yelled in confusion.
Jonathon Stotts: Is Andrew willingly working for Mr. Whitworth so he can win the bet?
Dallin Johnson: Willy thoughtfully asked, "Will Nate Hill ever realize that it is a flying cow, not a seagull, on Lewis's shirt?"
Jessica Sheets: Was Josh Lillywhite flying lazily with the wind on Saturday?
Mr. T: "Will Angela really beat up Amber?" I'm wondering as she whispers loudly in my face.

7th Period: [F I 4 : Pointy Things]

Mr. T: Finally, to avoid a fine, please consider following these guidelines: (1) Don't spear the fish, (2) Never chew needles, and (3) Don't let Jorgen choose the topic.
Dillon Jones: I finally got my fifty-year old swordfish from Finland at 12:45 P.M.
Dayana Arreola: Finally, I get a pointy pencil at 5:30 today if I go to the fun family store with the freaky cat holding the knife.
Dean Carver: At 3:00, the fat guy finally stabbed his fitness informer with his sharp fingernail.

December 16, 2008: Conjunctions
A conjunction creates a connection between words or groups of words.

2nd Period: [U T 2 " " Wild]

Alicia Parker: "My table lay crookedly turned and folded in my tub," exclaimed the disoriented woman.
Jessica Heslin: Utah, the Beehive State, is big, but it is smaller than those so-called "huge" states.
Rachelle Stewart: "Utah is in the United States and North America," explains Mr. Carter in his continuing lecture.
Mr. T: Taurus and Trenton flirted continually, so Mr. T said, "Shh!"
Livvy Gerrish: Utahns are very happy with their utterly "cookie-cutter" lifestyle, but others prefer actual humans.
Kenzie Crow: Utah is infested with creepy people of all shapes and sizes," said Tucker the hypocrite.

3rd Period: [K U 4 : Annoying Things]

Dear Miss Stucki: Your constant sulking about Grammar Punk makes me want to rap you violently on the knuckles. (Mr. T)
Tyler Young: Clunk clunk clunk was the sound my old truck made when it wouldn't start at 2:30 and made me late for my date.

4th Period [M E 4 , Things That Make You Cry]

Mr. T: Ambrie, Michael, and Mitchell shared some restaurant reviews that left me in tears.
Annie Tanner: Annie, Marieta, and Medusa (that messed up monster that makes you cry) sat at the ready with hairblowers for any evildoers.
Mitch Allen: The mean old clown fell out of the basement, but he fell into my messy trap of mashed potatoes.

5th Period: [T E 2 ; Clothes]

Kaitlyn Brough: Bertha only had $50 to spend; yet, she insisted on borrowing my $200 gift card so she could buy one glove.
Mr. T: Josie bought exotic clothes in Honolulu, Hawaii; Paris, France; and Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.

6th Period: [R U 3 , Holidays]

Kaitlyn Carnahan: Rudolph was running, but he fell and hurt his hoof, so Christmas was delayed.
Tim Hansen: For Christmas I want a Rush CD, a My Little Pony, and some Superman underwear.
Jessica Sheets: Crud, Rudolph, are you running away?
Dallin Johnson: Rudy wanted to celebrate Festivus, but Arthur rudely said Santa would bring him coal if he did.
Daniel Rueckert: Santa reassured Rudolph that he could guide the sleigh on Christmas Eve; although, Comet runs faster.
Nate Hill: Rudy got a Rubic's Cube for Christmas, but it was too nerdy, so he threw it away with some other rubbish.
Jonathon Stotts: Rudolph is rude, but he helped Santa through the blizzard.

7th Period: [U B 3 ( ) Someone in the Class]

Mr. T: Brandon was humbled and sad yesterday because beautiful Shay (his lover) was absent.
Dear Mr. Thompson: You have a bumpy, buggy, weird head, but you are a buttery teacher. (Brandon and Shay)
Payton Allen: Payton (the guy who thinks he is unbelievably funny) tells jokes about butts that are disgusting.
Jason Moss: Max started to blow bubbles (out his nose), but he didn't have enough buttons.
Dayana Arreola: Cori is funny (and she also has a very bubbly attitude), but she is too busy buying things!

December 15, 2008: Adjectives
Adjectives modify, change, enhance, and make nouns and pronouns more precise.
They answer the questions What kind?, Which one?, and How many?.

2nd Period: [O G 3 , Wild]

Livvy Gerrish: Goodness, why is that gracious woman wearing a grocery bag?
Jessica Heslin: The ogre was ugly, humongous, gooey, and scary.
Mr. T: While second period has many good students, it also has more than its share of goober-eating goons.

3rd Period: [P A 3 , Wild]

Jamison Walker: Although big apples are appetizing, they cannot apply for a job at Applebee's.
Jordan Brown: I went to the particularly carzy party, but I regretted going when I got pantsed.
Mr. T: While I appreciate Pa's continnual help, this appendage growing from my chest is cause for alarm.
Garrett Bigelow: Parenthetical documentation can cause you to pull out your hair, play with your hair nervously, or jump from your seat and run away as fast as your pained feet and brain can carry you.

4th Period: [I R 2 ? religion]

Annie Tanner: Why was the injured boy asking silly righteous questions when really he should be screaming his lungs out?
Mitch Allen: Is Buddhism an interesting religion?
Mr. T: "Must we always write about religion?" groaned the frustrated grammar punks.

5th Period: [M I 3 : food/drink]

Nick Polson: At 12:15, I was just getting intimate with my lunch at Impossible Minny's Food Palace.
Mr. T: I'm very impressed with Big Zee's for this reason: the mixture of vegetables in the omelette was colorful and tasty.

6th Period: [K A 3 , religion]

Tim Hansen: Amalakiah was an evil kingman, who later became a Lamanite king by making fake promises.
Dallin Johnson: Mark, Jake, and Karen were surprised when they got bad citizenship grades for sluffing their seminary class.
Mr. T: Karma is a significant concept in some world religions, but Noah's ark was whack!

7th Period [O G 3 , Wild]

Mr. T: The eyeball story, a gory tale about my misadventures with a contact lens, was so gross that it made good students faint.

December 12, 2008: Quotation Marks Rules 1-3
Rule #1: Use quotation marks to show someone's exact words.
Rule #2: Use quotation marks to distinguish words used in a unique way or to indicate unfamiliar words.
Rule #3: Use quotation marks to set off referenced titles of short stories, poems, songs, and articles.

[Rule #1: E S 3 adjective wild] [Rule #2: A L 3 pronoun religion] [Rule #3: G E 3 adverb really big things]

There were lots of good ones, but these were the best:

Janette Jensen: "Students should be helplessly spanked," Mrs. Olga announced to the smelly principal.
Austin Coburn: Jessica said, "I live to see Paris and walk the beautiful streets of Orlando."
Kenzie Crow: Although we discovered later that she was referring to God, we didn't know what Ally meant at church when she talked about her "tall" friend.
Elias Robinette: I really regret writing a not-so-great poem called "The Largest Cookie."
Olivia Bitner: "These feet smell like crap", said a disgusted Ashley.
Olivia Bitner: Al didn't really know who "Catholics" were but he decided to find out!
Olivia Bitner: Gerry read a freakishly large book called "Geese that get diseases."
Rosie Gerrish: His lame laboratory lacked a certain "religiosity," though it did have a picture of Elvis surrounded by candles in the bathroom.
Rosie Gerrish: That geographic phenomenon sure made a shockingly great inspiration for the new hit single of our generation, "Big Geographic Phenomenons".
Courtnee Wood: "Sometimes teenagers tease me about my glasses," Eleutherius said, as he started sobbing hysterically.
Nashleigh Gittins: "The Utah Utes are the best collage football team ever," Amanda yells to Jordan in French class.
Nicolas Spencer: "Edwin, isn't it fantastic that Easter is here?" Estella said happily.
Nicolas Spencer: My favorite National Geographic article is "How great big giant elephants daily sit on geysers."
Carly Benesch: Albert didn't know why the crazy old lady had called him a "sinful loser-face," but he figured it had something to do with his no longer attending church.
Garrett Bigelow: "Those of you who wish to perhaps fight valiantly against the raging Acturisk Minsk may follow my lead battlecruiser," Jim Raynor offered.
Lauren Waters: "Don't be scared of the things you can't see," quiet Elias cautioned.
Connor Morgan: "This small place is getting very hard to escape from," Elise stammered.
Jamison Walker: Allison didn't know what "Mass" was, but she didn't want an alligator disrupting that time when Mass was held in the Catholic Church.
Tyler Young: "Did you see that sealion eat that senile lady?" shouted Jake
Morgan Palmer: "The eggshell-colored seaweed is attacking all of Sacremento!" she exclaimed.
Elisabeth Stucki: The always-so-kind Ellis suggested, "You should suck on eggs this afternoon."
Andrew Weese: "Send the big, injured, shaggy general to help us out!" Captain Weenie ordered.
Ambrie Bodily: "It's hard to think of sentences with such specific subjects!" said Grace.
Clarissa Jarrett: On Sunday during the "all-out" Hawaiian festival at church, I decided that allthough Hawaii is very cool, it has nothing to do with Christmas.
Kathie Cardenas: "Are your old parents really losers like that?" asked Sean.
Brad Nye: "Those eggs look like scrambled poo!" angry Taylor replied.
Krysta Eskelson: "Bears who eat beets beat Battlestar Galactica," funny Jim tells Dwight.
Kalei Santore: "You are very sympathetic to Esme's disgression," I said.
Mitch Allen: "READY THE LARGE PENGUINS FOR BATTLE!" yelled Sergeant Barnacles.
Annie Tanner: "Why did you sleep all the way to the lakes?" asked the serpent.
Mackenzie Galbraith: He told the strange person who called himself "Jesus" where heaven was by pointing all the way up in the mountains to the candy shop high in the altitudes.
Josh Valentine: The loud congregation all gasped when the bishop said that Paul was "breathless."
Garry Gregson: For last term's assignment, we had to write about an "interesting" person who plays on the church lacrosse team in Alabama.
Robby Platt: In my last elementry school, I won a "compact" atlas the size of a Meiktilan Bible.
Jorgen Sumsion: "Can you see the huge seaweed monster gaining?" Simone asked.
David Steed: "We must establish a firm knowledge of the English language!" Mr. Thompson commanded seriously.
Ashlee Hatch: "Sometimes I like to eat seventeen steaks at a time," said Steven.
Cole McLean: "I hate Grammar Punk because it's dumb," an anonymous child said while the special poodles strangled his little toes.
Lauren Thaler: "I swear I left my papers right here," Jessica insisted.
Julie Rigby: The lanky angel had no clue what a shark's "pearly whites" were, but he didn't want to find out.
Dean Carver: "The semicolon makes my mind seem all fuzzy," mumbled Dean.
Jason Moss: We were copying the largest stanza of the poem "Ithaca" when the celing suddenly fell in.
Jascka Hokanson: Today in our German class, we had quite a large test on the German version of "The Three Little Pigs."
Cori Bahnmiller: The song "You Raise Me Up" by Josh Groben is generally in my favorite music genre.
Kaylee Briesmaster: In answer to her question, Sue said, "She jumped around crazily."
Dayana Arreola: "The easily distracted man has gone crazy!" Stephanie yelled.
Bryan Beal: Alex almost always gives a sermon on "charity" so that he doesn't need to study.
Jadie Ward: She burned with rage and screamed, "I'll show you wild, you shaggy sea dog!"
Kelsey Fawson: Kelsey said, "I like to watch turtles swim in a really dirty sewer water."
Maddie Nielsen: Jessica answered, "I ate the super sized hamburger."
Erikka Crosgrove: Allen didn't understand what a "celestial being" was, but he knew that they scared him.
Tim Hansen: "Can't you see that Aerosmith is so much cooler than Beethoven?" asked Freddy.
Eric Christensen: "Those tigers scare me," said the frightened Vanessa.
Brittany Fisher: Jessica said,"I got a bad grade on my English test, but my grades are still good."
Dallin Johnson: Selma smiled when she said, "I would like to throw bread sticks at Bradon's head."
Karisa Hanline: "These really big sentences are interesting!" exclamied Karisa.
Zach Jensen: "Someone just fell down the yellow slide," said Suise.
Jessica Andrus: They almost always call us the "Mormons," but we're really called the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints.
Emily Van Wynen: Gessel wrote a very large essay called "How to Act Like a Gentalman."
Brady Roth: "Sue looks gorgeous today," said Serena.
Tiffanee Rosenstein: "My monkeys have slides of poets and famous people in Salt Lake," said Kristen.
Kristen Wall: "I love the Christmas lights, especially the pretty ecstatic blue crests," said Cathy.
Annesa Antczak: My friend Al likes to read Colossians and Revelations because, he says, they are his "favorite" Bible verses.
Brooke Bohling: "Are the brides ready for their dress fitting, or were they in the nest sleeping?" asked the seamstress.
Norm Adams: "These hairy chickens are trying to kill me," shouted Richard Willie Johnson, Jr.
Dallin Hales: It seems that Nate's awesome dad said, "Don't get used to playing on the same team."
Colton Lewis: "Do green monsters like to eat hampster friends?" asked Colton.
Chloe Kelson-Packer: "Goodness Gracious, you have the worst case of chronic after-school amnesia I have seen since the ninteenth century," shrieked the stinky old counselor.
Bailey Davis: The "Female Parental Advisor/Sponsor/Disiplinarian Unit" wants me to take seminary.
Josie Drott: She whispered in a very sensitive voice, "Why, no, I don't like to eat calamari."

December 11, 2008: Semicolon Rules 2 & 3
Rule #2: Use a semicolon before a conjunctive adverb that joins two complete thoughts.
Rule #3: Use semicolons to avoid confusion with serial items that already contain commas.

2nd Period: [R I 3 adverb wild] and [U K 3 pronoun wild]

Mitch Spjut: Kentucky was funky in April; however, they are now chunky monkeys.
Alek Johnson: Punks are major hunks; however, they are not too lucky because they get bitten by turkeys.
Jeremy Benson: I know I covered the bulk of this in Kentucky; however, the Hulk may make it a little complicated.
Adam Wilson: The lucky Ukrainian turkey got shot; however, he was not aware of the shooting.
Adam Wilson: Irresposible Rick ran away to Dublin, Ireland; Frankfurt, Germany; and London, England.
Julissa Wilcox: I was lucky to be out of the way for her chunky puke; sadly, it was yummy turkey.
Nick Munson: One day I saw the lucky Ukrainian turkey get beat up and throw in that trunk; however, he was still alive.
Elias Robinette: I often hear about incongruous opposites like macaroni, jello jigglers, and salad; toothpaste, hair gel, and orange juice; and Rosie, Livvy, and coconuts.
Camie Bernards: I know everybody probably doesn't remember that new punk; however, you might remember him as the "Unknown Skunk."
Janettte Jensen: Craig considered his job in Kuwait lonesome; however, the unlucky trip turned him into a hunk.
Livvy Gerrish: Smiley Rosie Gerrish went to Salt Lake City, Utah; Portland, Maine; and Fuxon, Russia; but she decided to stay here.
Rachelle Stewart: You are lucky you didn't get hit by the turkey truck; however, here comes the Hulk.
Korbyn Larsen: I was very lucky the other day; however, I did puke chunks on my grandma.
Alicia Parker: My fifth knuckle is very lucky; although, I broke it last week on this stupid punk.
Livvy Gerrish: The Hulk went to Kentucky to suck turkeys; however, they were all gone.
Jessica Heslin: Duke puked the day we went to the zoo; therefore, he couldn't see the ducks.
Sarah Omer: On Thanksgiving the turkey was lucky; however, it got hit by a truck.
Nate Coleman: They ate chunky turkey in Kentucky; however; they thought they were donuts.
Madi Hyte: She put the hunkin' turkey in the trunk; however, when the car moved, the turkey rolled out.
Weiyi Le: Buck chucked Chuck into his truck; therefore, Chuck hucked a duck at Buck, and Buck bucked Chuck into a truck.
Kenzie Crow: We learned about the UK in geography, and it didn't suck that much; however, I did want to hit Mr. Carter with a turkey.
Taurus Jones (Wiggle your eyebrows while reading): I know you like my funky hawt moves; however, it is unknown how Kentucky really makes their fried chicken.

3rd Period: [U T 2 adverb movies/music] and [R I 3 adjective food/drink]

Connor Morgan: I don't really understand anything; however, I can sometimes figure out what people are jabbering at each other in the theater.
Nashleigh Gittins: The band Ultra Darkness is very good; however, I prefer listening to the Unlimited Forceful Band.
Brandon Stone: I thought that Get Smart was very good; however, The Dark Knight was the ultimate movie.
Olivia Bitner: I ate pepperoni pizza from New York, New York; interesting sushi from Bejing, China; and some original spaghetti from Rome, Italy.
Jordan Brown: The movie Bourne Ultimatum was utterly amazing; however, I like Bourne Supremacy better.
Julie Dyer: Yesterday I heard a song about a turtle; unfortunately, the turtle was murdered by a tortoise.
Mikka Vallace: In the movie, Matt shut her finger in the door once; however, it didn't get stuck.
Courtnee Wood: The man in that movie I watched strutted around like a turtle; however, I must say he was mighty fine!
Rosie Gerrish: The turtle triumphantly accepted the Grammy for Fergie; although, it was obvious he had her tied up in a closet backstage.
Tyler Young: The movie was utterly disgusting; however it intrigued me a lot.
Jamison Wlaker: I hesitantly chose a ripe orange, banana, and kumquat; an unripe pomegranate, guava, and kiwi; and a soggy watermelon.
Justin Myers: I couldn't decide what was worse: the green, bulging potatoes; the black, oozing gravy; or the orange, bubbling salad.
Lauren Waters: Irritating Rita couldn't decide which was the right choice: the cola, lemon-lime, or cream soda; water, milk, or juice; or the strange concoction on the table.
Carly Benesch: I couldn't decide what would kill me faster: moldy onion rings, root beer, and octopus; gushing fungus, broccoli, and eggplant caserole; or plain old school lunch.
Morgan Palmer: Utah is a very cold place; however, it is well known for its snowboarding documentaries.
Nicolas Spencer: I rented a movie in Utah; however, it was silently on mute the whole time I watched it.
Nicole Hyte: You-Tube has a lot of music; however, in Utah we use for our tunes.
T.J. Waltz: I know you people like your Utah soft rock music; however, I like the gut-busting hard rock and hip hop.
Jordan Parkinson: The Utes were in a movie made in Utah; therefore, the movie sucked because the director didn't choose BYU.
Orlando Rodriguez: It will be music to my ears when the Utah Utes win the Sugar Bowl; however, Alabama is a very good team.
Nate Wade: Bullet for My Valentine came to Utah; however, they weren't the biggest band on the bill.

4th Period: [S O 4 preposition wild] and [E W 2interjection wild]

Curtis Carter: Well, we are planning to egg some houses; however, you people might spoil our plan.
Dylan Viator: Wow! We went to Anaheim, California; Portland, Oregon; and Melbourne, Australia.
Audry Kaczor: I've considered joining the Loveable Snow Club; however, it pales compared to the other choices I should've looked at.
Clarissa Jarrett: So, you probably thought that this sentence would be happy and jolly; however, you probably didn't know that the spooky therapist Santa Claus was coming to you...inside your house...this very Christmas.
Annie Tanner: Well, we went to give wet willies to random strangers at the park on May 25, 2008; August 9, 2008; and September 2, 2008.
Coby Heaton: Last winter, we all went to Honolulu, Hawaii; Kaysville, Utah; and Talahassee Florida.
Amanda Rice: The person was jumping off a cliff; however, instead of soaring so gracefully like a bird, he was plummeting like a bowling ball.
Michael Southwick: So, we now know the second semicolon rule; however, we have yet to know the third.
Mitch Allen: Mr. Thompson found the socks to be quite delicious; hwever, Oscar preferred to wear them on his feet.
Mitch Allen: Jeez, Bob has seen the Oscar-Meyer Weinermobile in three places: Sandiego, California; Salt Lake City, Utah; and New Orleans, Louisiana.
Carley Davis: I love to slow dance; however, I sort of wanted to go on a slow walk with Simon.
Camry Godfrey: We were playing volleyball; however, while we were doing so, the ref was picking her nose.
Ryan Kemp: Metal music sounds so amazing; however, country music is about the worst-sounding crap I've ever heard.
Nic Van Oene: Because we travel a lot, I have been in Nuremberg, Germany; Layton, Utah; and Kona, Hawaii.
Mackenzie Galbraith: The son of Onlsow eats all of the soft pillows on the bed; therefore he consumes many feathers.
Amanda Richins: I personally hate school; however, it is because lots of kids just love asking so many dumb questions.
Annie Tanner: I know she is so sophisticated in public; however, you probably haven't seen her at her friend's houses jumping in soup.
Becca Putman: My bossy dog Oscar ate all the candy on the table; therefore, there were no chocolates left for the goose.
Brad Nye: That night I ate 19 delicious oranges; consequently, I spent the next four hours in a claustrophobic bathroom.
Josh Valentine: My dog's awesome collar was sold to me by Jason; however, it was very expensive.

5th Period: [D O 3 adjective music/movies] and [R E 3 adverb animals]

Jessica Andrus: I can't quickly decide whether to get the red, yellow, or blue monkey; or the Siberian white tiger.
Anna Carter: That very stubborn zebra has been to many places: Las Vegas, Nevada; Rena, Nevada; and Chicago, Illinois.
Emily Van Wynen: I was watching a dragon move, and it sucked; however, it was funny when the doctor was really a donkey.
Brady Roth: I wanted red and green eggs from a chick; therefore, I quickly ate bacon and really fresh pears.
Jimmy Cardinal: I have seen zebras and leopards at all the zoos in Lincoln, Nebraska; Minot, North Dakota; Colorado Springs, Colorado; and Cheyenne, Wyoming.
Devin Anderson: The really funny reindeer has moved many times: Rebock, Massachussetts; Layton, Utah; and Reindeerville, North Pole.
Bailey Davis: My dream is to meet a band called the Dollyrots; however, it is Don's dream to become a boring doctor.
Sidnie Squires: I was watching a movie in which a prince killed the dragon; sadly, the dragon had bad body odor.
Brooke Bohling: The Shrek movie with the ogre included the donkey and the dragon; however, none of them were in El Dorado.
Taelor Richards: My favorite movie would have to be Fight Club; however, I don't like all the blood.
Thomas Roberts: My pet deer, iguana, and cat ran really fast to return my Netflix movies to Ogden, Utah; Portland, Oregon; and Cairo, Egypt.
Chloe Kelson-Packer: I knew we were doomed to watch a dull documentary on dragons when it was Dalton's turn to choose; however, I also knew that I could survive it knowing I would make him watch a movie about a dog who aspires to be an odor doctor.
Kaitlyn Brough: Over here, all the tigers have escaped from Oulessebougou, Mali; Jefferson City, Missouri; and Salt Lake City, Utah.
Dallin Hales: The dope man rode a donkey; however, the big donkey watched a movie.
Karisa Hanline: The really fluffy rabbit lived in sunny Miami, Florida; the Wildcat territory of Ogden, Utah; and sparkly Nashville, Tennessee.
Ashton Grey: Everyone most likely does know "Puff the Magic Dragon"; however, not very many people download it.
Christian Tanner: To help animals across the world, the vet has lived in Rome, Italy; paris, France; and Portland, Oregon.
Nick Polson: My doberman played the part of a flame-retardant dog; however, I still wished the dragon's fire was fake.
Erikka Crosgrove: Wow, the mutated milk somersaulted through the air toward Tucker; however, instead of catching it, he let it smack him in the head.
Nick Polson: The evil guinea pig destroyed the red, blue, and green pig pen; the orange and blue striped pinata; and the fired ice-cream stand.
Thomas Roberts: In Shrek II, the donkey and the dragon marry; however, the odoriferous dragon is much larger.
Josie Drott: I quickly slammed the door, attempting to resist the small, big, and bigger dogs; a flock of chirping parakeets; and the meanest, ugliest raccoon you have ever seen.
Amber Conklin: We were watching a show about a dog who had a bad odor; however, the doctor said not to wash him.
Kristin Wallin: During the movie about dragons, I thought I smelled an odorous dog; however, it was you.

6th Period: [T U 3 interjection food/drink] and [E B 4 pronoun animals]

Angela Strand: Sometimes my tummy growls in cute Thompson's class; however, Mrs. Carver gives me nutty bars in her class!
Daniel Rueckert: Benjamin has lived in many places with his fellow moneky brother Benny: Hogel Zoo in Salt Lake City, Utah; Beaver, Utah; and Boise, Idaho.
Nathan Reynolds: Tucker the mutt ate my Utes jersey; however, I am glad because I am a BYU fan.
Josh Lillywhite: Well, Tucker, I know I have told you not to do drugs; however, you must have forgotten it by now, you stupid boy.
Garrett Kemp: Wait, Tucker! Pass the butter; actually, pass some turkey, too.
Andrew Flint: Everybody knows that I have many friends: Johnny, the burly beagle; Jeb, the incredible pig; amd Ebenezer, the fat cow.
Andrew Flint: Indeed, Tucker is a stud; however, his juice is quite discusting.
Andrew Beal: Because she was such an attractive heifer, Bessie was considered a babe by Ben, the horse; Wilbur, the pig; and Yogi, the bear.
Justin Taylor: Wow! Mr. Thompson loves to turn into a Starbucks monster; however, he looks like a mentally handicapped duck.
Jessica Sheets: Well, I remember Mr. Lutz had a nutty bar; however, he didn't taste it on his tongue.
Kelsey Fawson: I tried to learn the true meaning of flying turtles; however, I still don't truly get it.
Brittany Fisher: In the past I have lived in Bakersfield, California; Bejing, China; and Benhob, Turkey; but none have been home to the bald eagle except Bakersfield.
Maddie Nielsen: Mr. Tuke plays the tuba; however, he also drinks Tucker's juice.
Daniel Rueckert: Mr. Lutz took the challenge of who could down the most coffe; however, his student drank decaf so he wouldn't be so nutty.
Jadie Ward: Well, I was utterly discusted; although the fried intestines weren't so bad.
Jonathon Stotts: Alas, I know that Tucker the turtle is boring; however; he is a slut in the water.
Tim Hansen: Hey, I ate turkey for dinner on Thursday; however, I had tuna for lunch.
Samuel Stout: Hey, your mutt of a dog, Tutti, is eating my tuna fish; however, my cat is in your kibble.

7th Period: [U P 5 preposition food/drink] and [E J 3 adverb animals]

Lauren Thaler: The pumpkin soup was next to the flour on the upper shelf; however, I had a coupon, so I climbed up.
Elle Garlitz: There is a super coupon sale on plums; however, there is a puddle up above it.
Abbie Ball: My puppy Pumpkin likes to jump in puddles; however, he has no legs.
Payton Ward: In the Enjoy June magazine, the jeans came in blue, green, and purple; orange, pink, and white; or yellow and turquoise.
Julie Rigby: Up in Europe, they eat pumpkin pie; however, they think pumpernickle soup is even more superb.
Kaylee Briesmaster: The purple puppy jumped up on me to get his dog food; however, his dinner wasn't ready.
Dillon Jones: We went up the stairs to the upper level of the food court to use our super purple coupon; however, it will expire upon the second of December.
David Steed: The purple puppies were chopped up and added into the soup; however, it was placed in tupperware when no one ate it.
Jorgen Sumsion: "Did you enjoy the tiny, yellow, fuzzy hamster; the slick, slimy, cold-blooded snake; or the tall, brown and yellow giraffe at the petting zoo the most?" Jerry hesitantly asked Jake.
Ashlee Hatch: My Japanese dog has a disease that makes him jittery on June 12, 13, 14, and 27; October 1, 5, and 8; and December 16.
Max Clemens: I uploaded a coupon for the purple soup; however, up the street it is illegal.
Mindy Munson: I sat upon a powerful and beautiful unicorn; unfortunately, she jumped up and knocked my cup of noodles out of my hand.

December 10, 2008: Question Mark Rules 1-3
Rule #1: Place a question mark at the end of a direct question.
Rule #2: Use question marks within parentheses to show uncertainty.
Rule #3: Question marks appear inside quotation marks if they are part of a direct quotation.

All Classes: [E R 4 adjective wild]

Julissa Wilcox: Was the bear's ear injured when he was in the big tree?
Adam Wilson: "Really really?" green Shrek replied.
Morgan Palmer: Do you have any free, berry-flavored, average-sized ice cream cones?
Jordan Brown: Will Smith is in every (?) episode of The Fresh Prince of Bel Aire.
Julie Dyer: Are you ever going to eat those perfectly delightful Reese's Pieces?
Orlando Rodriguez: Did your killer hamster Ernie kill my sweet gerbil while I was eating?
Rosie Gerrish: "Are you sure that zebra beggar persuaded Xavier to sever that poor cow's udder?" he asked.
Connor: Didn't Xavier seem merry on the ferris wheel with Rosie?
Emily LeCheminant: "Do you think I could persuade my quivering, weird parents into giving me zero money for my allowance?" I asked my friend.
Ryan Kemp: When did the creepy, weird hamster eat all his dinner?
Andrew Weese: Can the nerd really operate on the queer?
Mitch Allen: Are we really supposed to eat this undercooked hamster for dinner?
Mitch Allen: I can't believe your mom actually agreed when you asked, "Can Jerry and I ride the ferris wheel in our underwear?"
Curtis Carter: What weird gravedigger would interrupt a concert by running naked on the blue stage?
Audrey Kaczor: "Do you really think estranged terrorists return books?" asked the librarian.
Michael Southwick: When are we going to steer our hunger away from the tree food?
Mackenzie Galbraith: "Do you have some water vipers I could devour until my heart gets quieter?" Alexander said with wide eyes.
Camry Godfrey: What happened to all the nerdy BYU losers after the killer Utah game?
Krysta Eskelson: "What does the average beggar receive?" asked the Keebler elf.
Annie Tanner: "Was the yodler a jerk?" asked Rosie the freak.
Kaitlyn Brough: "Why do you torture me?" asked Rosie, while her terrible twin tied her up with rope.
Norm Adams: It's either this er that is my sentence, but since "er" is a very borderline word (?), I excluded it from my hungry list of four irregular "-er" words.
Jessica Andrus: "Isn't Question Mark Rule Three very difficult to do?" asked Jerry.
Colton Lewis: Do you like the perfect Transporter 3 or the lame Incredible Hulk better?
Jimmy Cardinal: Do beggars make good lovers or creative killers?" asked the toddler.
Brooke Bohling: "Was the edible hamster really my lover?" asked the Jerusalem creature.
Brady Roth: Where in the hell are Jerusalem and my reading glasses?
Mr. T: Is fifth period so much quieter than my other classes because they are here right before lunch?
Samuel Stout: The injured (?) hamsters were supposed to report to Jerusalem for aerobic exercise.
Jessica Sheets: Have you ever had red lobster, deer, or zebra before?
Jessica Sheets: "Can you believe the quilter is a monster terrorist?" asked the weaver.
Tim Hansen: Exciting Ernie listens to Journey, Weezer (?), and Aerosmith.
Nate Hill: Mr. VanHiossleburg's hamster once again returned to his neighbor's yard, but this time did he eat the platter of questionable meat?
Josh Lillywhite: Where in Jerusalem can I find my dear Aunt Rosie?
Andrew Flint: "Will the juggler juggle toddlers?" asked the very weird nerd.
Maddie Nielsen: Has Xavier tried a berry shake under a killer whale?
Robby Platt: "Is your name really John Robert Platt III?" the super serious dwarf Cole McLean asked.
Robby Platt: Younger heroes are better kissers (?) compared to their elders.
???: Are there tears and sweat in this salty hamburger?
Lauren Thaler: "Did Lucifer really murder the strange monster?" Lauren Thaler asked.
Brianna Price: Why does green pepper taste like ten-year old zebra?
Jason Moss: Lauren Thaler's favorite movies are Herbie Goes Bananas (?) and Frankenstein.
Jason Moss: Where does the invulnerable beggar drink water?
Julie Rigby: Can we really drink the red wine from the vineyard and be merry?
Ashley Kotter: Is Gretchen a lover of extra-chocolatey Zingers?
Dayana Arreola: You married Lauren, you dear terrorist.
Ashlee Hatch: How did Lauren get that super Zinger into Jerusalem?
Elle Garlitz: Lauren married a dear terrorist named Xavier (?).
Cori Bahnmiller: Did you know that there is a very weird critter running around the dinner table?
Fernanda Sanchez: "Are you really perfect?" asked Edward.
Dean Carver: Did the killer zipper devour Gretchen?
Nick Munson: "Have you ever been an erotic stripper?" asked Jerry the pervert.

December 9, 2008: Parentheses Rule #3
Parentheses enclose numbers that divide items in a sentence (but only when the writer wishes to specifically enumerate the items). The sentence would still be grammatically correct without the numbers/letters.

2nd Period: [H U 3 interjection religion]

Kenzie Crow: Dang! After church I was very hungry because we (1) hummed some songs, (2) prayed, and (3) had some bread and wine.
Rachelle Stewart: Hallelujah! In church we need to (1) close our mouths, (2) respect Hannukah, and (3) hunch over to pray.
Jessica Heslin: Well, today we will (1) go to church, (2) eat because we are so hungry, and (3) hums some Christmas songs.
Alicia Parker: Wow! I'm glad that (1) Hannukah starts on Thursday, (2)Kwanza starts in three weeks, and (3) Christmas is in 16 days!

3rd Period: [W O 3 conjunction wild]

Nashleigh Gittins: When it snows a lot, we will (1) go snowboarding, (2) work on how to stop, and (3) end up face planting in the snow.
Garrett Bigelow: Whosoever finds this letter, please (1) sail out to sea with 3,000 of my own armored battleships, (2) travel to a distant island, (3) find the pathetically woeful dragon, and (4) resurrect me with the purposeful use of an intelligent cow.
Mr. T: How can you say I'm without (1) morals, (2) values, or (3) a heart, when you know I have the heart of a a jar on my desk?

4th Period: [I T 2 pronoun religion]

Mr. T: Tired though I am, I will (1) visit the church, (2) recite a prayer, and (3) donate ten dollars to charity.
Spencer Sargent: Today we will (1) read the scriptures, (2) learn to have faith about them, and (3) sing "Silent Night."
Michael Southwick: The girl I met in Sunday school might (a) go to the church dance with me, (b) go to the movies with me, or (c) slap me silly because I keep asking her out.
Grace Bertch: These are things everyone needs to be spiritually fit: (1) integrity, (2) faith, and (3) virtue.

5th Period: [S I 5 interjection wild]

Kristin Wallin: Yikes! Tomorrow I will have a wild day with (1) my sister's birthday, (2) Mrs. Cobia's project that is due, and (3) a simple test I have to take.
Dallin Hales: Blast! This sissy song is (a) singing in my head, (b) annoying me, and (c) making me want to kill chickens.
Mr. T: Dang! Among the rhyming things that you should definitely never do are (1) kissing your sister, (2) popping a blister, or (3) calling a lady "mister."

6th Period: [E F 3 pronoun wild]

Daniel Rueckert: It seemed harmless, but was the fiery, furry beast (a) sweet and affectionate, (b) kind and nice, or (c) scary and frightening?
Tevin Rosenlof: Would you prefer to (a) feed a shark, (b) feel human insides, or (c) cut a flounder in half?
Justin Taylor: I prefer to (1) feed the deaf, (2) clean houses for the blind, and (3) speak for the mute.
Matt Talbot: When confronted with a maniac, you must (1) feed your flounder, (2) dance effectively, and (3) become serious.
Samuel Stout: Andrew disregarded all safety as he (1) floundered in fluorescent urine and (2) fed the deaf bear at the zoo.
Mr. T: Effective federal safety standards are (1) necessary for the preservation of the union, (2) based on the most recent research, and (3) a pain in my butt.

7th Period: [R I 2 pronoun animals]

Kaleb Gushue: Today I will (a) flirt with a bird, (b) make an Iranian girl my bride, and (c) dance the hornpipe.
Ashlee Hatch: Today I will (1) be an animal, (2) eat my lizard, and (3) fly like a bird.
Dean Carver: Saturday we are going to (1) join the circus, (2) flirt with a rifle, and (3) eat someone's ostrich.
Mr. T: Shay and Brandon Halbritter (1) chatter like monkeys, (2) flirt continuously, and (3) annoy the heck right outta me!

December 5, 2008: Parentheses Rule #2
Use parentheses to clarify a number.

All classes had different roles of the dice...and I'm too tired to list them all right now.

Ashlee Hatch: My eight (8) unclever chickens got electrocuted by eating caterpillar licorice.
David Steed: The iced chicken encircled the three (3) enchiladas like he was competing for clementines.
Karisa Hanline: During the movies, there were five (5) loud and incredible moos coming from the cows on the other side of Mother's farm.
Amber Conklin: The five (5) members of Maroon 5 were at the prom for a very important and impossible mission.
Tim Hansen: There are two (2) halves in college basketball, so teams usually use more time outs.
Samuel Stout: Santa said that there were ten (10) elves and five (5) reindeer coming toe the soccer game tomorrow.
Norm Adams: The problem was there were six (6) big bombs going "boom" in the building where the groom and a cow saying "moo" were getting married.
Jimmy Cardinal: My mom took six (6) optimistic mopers and ominously mooed at them.
Grace Bertch: There are twenty (20) more days until Christmas, my very favorite time of year to roast Orbit gum.
Devin Moss: There are a million (1,000,000) orange rabbits waiting outside to be orally examined inside and out.
Nic Van Oene: The boar killed three (3) robust robots and seven (7) insanely bored monkeys.
Ryan Kemp: I angrily killed four (4) crocodiles with only a rock and my bare hands once.
Audrey Kaczor: Three (3) horses, four (4) veterinarians, and two (2) over-the-top elephants got together for a slumber party.
Mitch Allen: There are more than a million (1,000,000) bands with insanely shredding guitar riffs, including Iron Maiden, the Scorpions, and Motley Crue.
Curtis Carter: The ostrich quickly ran five (5) miles as the contortionist tried to take up origami.
Garry Gregson: The constellation of Orion contains five stars, which are provoking bad religions.
Josh Valentine: The rhino swiftly got six (6) more pizzas at the store.
Tyler Young: The movie really sucked after the first five (5) minutes of unicorns playing with duck-shaped hockey pucks.
Garrett Bigelow: I know of only four (4) people who've seen The Count of Monte Cristo and decided to conduct an investigation on its uncontrollably bad orientation to the book.

December 4, 2008: Parentheses Rule #1
Use parentheses to enclose added information that interrupts the flow of the sentence.

All Classes: [E F 5 adjective wild]

Mr. T: Baffled by the failure of the ninth graders (supposedly the "best" class in the school) to defeat the sevvies in a penny war, I offered to perform a rap for them if they win the competition.
Tevin Rosenlof: French fartists (known as les furtistes) feel free to rudely release flatulence every February.
Sarah Omer: The elf (the one with the frozen ears) was as deaf as a griffen with a fever.
Taurus Jones: Mr. Thompson (the feistiest teacher evah!) never puts my sentences up!
Brianna Price: The five wives (supposedly faster than the referee) folded their frozen waffles.
Lauren Thaler: The elf (the one afflicted with a fever) was setting his baffled wife on fire.
Adam Wilson: The frozen elf (the one who is also a referee) fell fast to safety...on fire.
Kenzie Crow: Stephanie (the strangest of my friends) likes to feed on fudge with her frozen waffles.
Nate Hill: For the "young" fellow (a man in his fifties), it took much effort to stab the cat with a fine knife.
Daniel Rueckert: The frozen elf Freddy (Santa's best worker) was fed to a polar bear like a waffle to a hungry human.
Jessica Sheets: The elf platoon (there were five of them) goofed off and performed an inefficient play.
Matt Talbot: The big elf (and he was enormous compared to the others) felt inefficient compared to his faster friends.
Dallin Johnson: Freddy the elf (although he prefers the term "little person") was baffled when Santa ran faster than his tall friend Bobby.
Tim Hansen: Freddy (supposedly the best guitarist in school) treated me to a frenzied solo on his Fender guitar with freakin' awesome whammy bar effects!
Trenton Christensen: The freaky, fat, elf wife (who also referees football games) felt like eating fudge and waffles instead of fighting fires.
Max Clemens: My friend's frozen griffen (the green one) was stabbed by a fine cutting knife because it was effectively scaring the children.
Robby Platt: The elf nation (masters of all things) in The Lord of the Rings despises dwarfs and other creatures that refrain from eating five leafy feasts per week.
Samuel Stout: Alfred the elf scoffed at the feverish fiend (an incredibly ugly creature) as he passed.
Norm Adams: The elf (offended because his deaf friend flipped him off) was crying silently in the corner.
Greg Howard: The inefficient fencer fell on a knife (a very sharp knife!) and effectively cut his hand off.
Annie Tanner: The elf's wife (a deaf old fritter) scoffed at the frozen fellow for being ineffective.
Mitch Allen: The baffled elf (the one with a nasty fever) barfed all over Santa's beautiful sleigh.
Grace Bertch: Mr. Waffle (the chocolately fiend!) scoffed at the fudge after he fell into pink frosting.
Rosie Gerrish: Frederico (in some states known as the Squirrel Avenger) decided to finance a fundamentalist Mormon's $50 million operation to remove the freakish dolphin-shaped tumor festering on his leg.
Jordan Brown: My wife is deaf, so I have to put on an elaborate performance (which often leaves her baffled) to communicate with her.
Nate Wade: The deaf hunter (the man who likes fresh potato salad) scoffed at the idea of giving his wife a sharpened knife.
Olivia Bitner: It makes me feel ferociously furious when people (supposedly my friends) feed frozen fish to my ferret!
Livvy Gerrish: Emily Randquist (one of my funniest friends) effortlessly made fudge for all of the baffled seventh graders...and Mr. Thompson.

December 3, 2008: Comma Rule #11
Use commas to separate numerals in large numbers.

2nd Period: [E J 3 interjection animals]

Alek Johnson: Wow! There are 6,593 jellyfish that are getting injected with jalepeno sauce.
Adam Wilson: Jeez! There are probably 1,000 jellyfish in there, Jerry!
Jessica Heslin: Jerry the jellyfish ate 1,000 peanut butter sandwiches on June 15th.
Livvy Gerrish: We went to see 2,000 jellyfish because they were alive with the jive, and Janette said, "Good gravy!"
Julissa Wilcox: Wow! Janette Jensen has 1,203 jellyfish!

3rd Period: [H A 3 interjection food/drink]

Justin Meyers: Ha! I told you there were 8,203 hashbrowns in the hall!
Nicolas Spencer: Ha! I have 23,000,000 hamburgers!
Tyler Young: Ugh! McDonald's has over 11,465 hamburgers made every half hour.
Laethan Lappin: Shoot! I just put 1,006 hairs in your Happy Meal because Harry told me to, and if I didn't he would put a hammer in my butt.

4th Period: [D E 4 interjection animals]

Mitch Allen: Wow! Did you hear that 36,000 donkeys rode a bus to Nevada yesterday?
Audrey Kaczor: Wow! The 32 bears danced; the 7,000 snakes hissed; the English teacher roared, and all of this occured during 5th period.
Nic Van Oene: The lady needed 7,000 dead deer for her dearest husband.
Curtis Carter: Good grief! Denmark has 37,987 dead, demented donkeys.
Mackenzie Galbraith: Cool! Today we are interviewing the very dental hygenic dove that has 2,106 medical diseases.
Spencer Sargent: Dangit! There are 1,000 red horses outside that need a ride.

5th Period: [W I 4 conjunction wild]

Devin Anderson: That wild loser stuck his finger in his mouth 8,732 times and pushed it inward toward my wig, giving me a wet willy.
Christian Tanner: Weird and wild Willey ran into the wind.
Kristen Wall: Playing Wii with my brother, who kept winning until he was ahead by 4,329 points, I gave up and ate a ham sandwich.
Anna Carter: When I get $5,053 I will win this bet I have with Irwin, but right now I only have $2,053.
Nick Polson: I wish I had 4,162 flaming wildebeasts running wild and 2,050 combustible pigeons with laser vision.
Sidnie Squires: On a windy day, 1,023,462 wild llamas flew off, and a wicked wild turkey landed.
Norm Adams: While chewing on one of my whiteboard markers, I worried that I would run out, but then I realized that I still had 5,235 left.

6th Period: [D U 5 interjection food/drink]

Andrew Flint: Dude! My loud duck Bud ate 5,352 donuts and jumped off a cliff.
Dallin Johnson: "Well, no duh!" cried Dudley, when a choir of 1,467 ducks told him you're supposed to wear underwear under your clothes.
Eric Christensen: Wow! Dunkin Donuts was going to have a duck eat 5,000 donuts, but some dummy undoubtedly ate them all.
Erikka Crosgrove: Geez! That dumb Audi driver got so drunk that he didn't understand he had caused $42,560 in damage.

7th: [I N 2 pronoun animals]

Brianna Price: Within the zoo, there are 4,048 penguins who dive into the ocean.
Jorgen Sumsion: Was it just me, or did 2,496 kamikaze red-tipped hawks fly into the slaughterhouse's tin roof right before it exploded in a giant mushroom fireball?
Robby Platt: His poor animals need 150,254,391,836,200 polka-dotted maggots to feed the hordes of evil kleptomaniacs that are known to be hostile to clowns.
Jason Moss: The seventh root of 2,187 is the integer three (3), which, coincidentally, happens to be the age of my nephew, Bob.
Shay Thurgood: In the daylight, my penguin ate 1,000 fish.
Fernanda Sanchez: I have 4,369 international iguanas, six (6) rabbits, and 2, 346 dolphins for the zoo.
Dean Carver: We will all be smitten by the guano from 3,129 penguins.
Jake Levinson: My intense 3,062,987,001-year old pet worm is surprinsingly agile.
???: I got a 1,000 karat igneous rock ring from a red cow.
Cori Bahnmiller: Today we saw 26,301 horses stuck in the Nile River.
David Steed: I know an animal called the Indian peregrine falcon that can live to be 2,336 years old.
Kaleb Gushue: I have seen inside 300,015,198 animal stomachs, but strangely I have never puked.
Dayana Arreola: My interesting iguana was 5,000 feet long.

December 2, 2008: Comma Rule #10
Use commas to set off mild interjections.

2nd Period: [T E 3 pronoun animals]

Jeremy Benson: Well, the last time I was almost eaten by an elephant.
Madi Hyte: Goodness, Tess, we have an animal test on Tuesday.
Janette Jensen: Yes, the thought of you shooting my sweet dog Tommy doesn't help me with this mythology test.
Jessica Heslin: Well, I wanted to see the elephants, but they were relocated to another zoo.

3rd Period: [M U 3 adverb sports]

Connor Morgan: Um, I guess I'll admit I was very much amazed when that dumb kid fell in the putting hole while playing minature golf.

4th Period: [L O 4 preposition wild]

???: Well, now that we have finished the long, old mythology in the Massive Purple Text, I love English again.
Clarissa Jarrett: Yo, Holy Skillet, my gangsta Krysta just got low on the floor like nobody gonna know she was feelin' the flow.

5th Period [E S 3 pronoun movies/music]

Colton Lewis: Well, Transporter 3 was the best movie I have seen in a long time.
Tiffanee Rosenstein: Well, I went to see Twilight last weekend, and the thing that caught my attention was Edward's lullaby that Esme likes.

6th Period [L E 4 conjunction movies/music]

Matt Talbot: Well, I like the song, but little guitar solos don't appeal to me.
Samuel Stout: Well, those leggings and lederhosen were so bright that the whole stage seemed to light up.
Tim Hansen: Well, I like to listen to Van Halen, but lately I've been hooked on Billy Joel.

7th Period [E W 3 conjunction animals]

Jorgen Sumsion: Eww, I just stepped in something a cow once chewed, but at least I'm not wearing my new shoes.
Elle Garlitz: Well, Walter the whale lives in Nebraska and eats chairs.
Kaleb Gushue: So, the family of whales is going to the wonderful museum, and Walter won't let me go.
Dayana Arreola: Well, today I saw a white whale, and he was really wide.
Brandon Halbritter: Well, the men went to study whales, but they never found them.
Dean Carver: Well, the wird ewes and goats are finally gone.
Payton Allen: Eww, that waterhorse just gave me a wet willey, but strangely it felt good.
Jason Moss: Well, ewes and whales will never meet.

November 24: Comma Rule #9
Quotations: Use commas to set off the speaker's exact words from the rest of a sentence.

2nd Period: [F E 4 pronoun wild]

Elias Robinette: "I'm offended," she said, "that we were so often buffeted in the line for the Thanksgiving feast."
Sarah Omer: She stated, "Feet would be safe as long as you kept them far from the fire."
Nick Munson: "Put everyone's favorite feast back in the fridge," my father said.
Kenzie Crow: Fred began eating his Thanksgiving dinner and said, "This feast contains my favorite foods, including fried potatoes."
Trenton Christensen: "Do it, Fred!" she yelled. "No questions! Just feed the ferrets!"

3rd Period: [G E 3 conjunction animals]

Jamison Walker: He yelled, "Why do we have to do Grammar Punk sentences about aged gazelles and spitting lllamas when we can't write sentences about giraffes?"
Connor Morgan: Curious George griped, "I wonder and wonder what's inside the tiger's mouth."
Emily LeCheminant: "At the zoo, Gerry gave the giraffe some gelatin and fruit he found in the garbage," I told my mom.
Julie Dyer: "The vegetarian tiger ate the gelatin gazelle, saying it was the best meat he had ever tasted," said the zookeeper.
Garrett Bigelow: "Why on earth," screamed Mr. Hoogan, "would you want to run around Africa shooting poor little gazelles and giraffes with a sling shot and then spend a night in a germ-infested bar?"

4th Period: [E M 3 interjection sports]

Carley Davis: "Gee," she said, "if murder is a medical emergency, then BYU should probably head to the hospital."
Audry Kaczor: "Well," said the Ute fan to his friend, "would you like me to call 911 after that embarrassing beating the BYU team took?"
Krysta Eskelson: "Holy cow!" Lauryn yelled, "Max Hall will have a medical emergency if he turns the ball over one more time."
Clarissa Jarrett: "Oh, snap!" wailed Krysta. "The Utes totally massacred BYU and made them cry to their mommies!"
(Notice: No comma needed if a split quotation can be treated as two separate sentences.)
Andrew Weese: "Well," Mr. Thompson said, "murder is a medical emergency, but I prefer to think of it as a sport."

5th Period: [E B 3 adjective movies/music]

Nick Polson: "In the bleak movie The Christmas Carol," said Bethany, "Ebenezer Scrooge looks like he was stung by a bee."
Dallin Hales: The dog began by saying, "That bleepin' tall, bloody bee was freaky in that movie!"
Taelor Richards: "Oh my gosh," I babbled. "I can't believe the Twilight movie was better than I expected."
Anna Carter: Today I bet there will again be two girls at my door loudly singing, "You can't stop the beat!"
Norm Adams: I begged my brother, "Can we go see that ridiculously hilarious movie where Benjamin Franklin goes back in time and eats all the happy cows in California?"
Kaitlyn Brough: She yelled, "Why do you call that feeble rap music incredible? It makes my ears bleed!"
Mr. T: "Please," begged Brooke, "boogie with me while the music plays!"

6th Period: [E R 4 interjection movies/music]

Dani Catrow: "Well," said Dani, "we went to the great movie, and I had to go to the ER because I thought the main guy was my lover."
Justin Taylor: "Holy crap! I cannot believe the Utah Utes slaughtered their enemies, the BYU losers, by so many points," screamed Robert, "and I recorded it to watch later!"
Dallin Johnson: Parker retorted, "Well, I would have to disagree because Weezer is my favorite band."
Jessica Sheets: "Gee, The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants is a very entertaining movie," she said laughing.
Jadie Ward: "Oh, dear," Dorothy shrieked, "is that a horse of a different color?"
Michaela Wade: "Golly," Reverend Roger said, "that movie was really scary and had a lot of fire and excitement in it."
Erikka Crosgrove: "Well, every five words the rapper would screech more unrecognizable words," she growled angrily.

7th Period: [O T 3 interjection sports]

Jorgen Sumsion: "Well," the football referee said, "he was not offsides, so we will put the game in overtime."
???: Thompson yelled to Payton, "Keep your pants on, crazy lady!"
Cori Bahnmiller: "Dang," she said, "they don't have a ball to play with so they toppled a violet pot."
Dayana Arreola: "Yay! My least favorite sports team lost the football game," said Dayana.
Brianna Price: "Well," he sighed, "BYU lost, but next year they ought to win the big football game."

November 21, 2008: Comma Rule #7
Use commas to offset items in a date. (When the year is not at the end of a sentence, you must put a comma after it.)

[A T 4 adjective sports]

Payton Allen: November 22, 2008, is the anxiously anticipated date that BYU will play Utah at Rice Eccles Stadium.
T.J. Waltz: The mad game of Utah and BYU on November 22, 2008, is an attack of battering football players, but personally I will be watching the USC Trojans defeat whatever pathetic team stands against them.
Bryan Beal: On November 22, 2008, the BYU-Utah game stalled because of an attack from man-eating tomatoes.
Mitch Spjut: November 22, 2008, will be an absolute battle at Rice-Eccles Stadium.
Julissa Wilcox: At the BYU-Utah game on November 22, 2008, BYU will dominate arrogant Utah.
Julie Dyer: On November 22, 2008, the University of Utah football team will take down the BYU football team in the most amazing game of the season.
Courtnee Wood: On November 22, 2008, the battling Cougars will attack and eat Kyle Wittingham's Runnin' Utes for dinner.
???: Saturday, November 22, 2008, Utah will absolutely annihilate BYU in Utah's own lovely stadium.
Jordan Brown: On November 22, 2008, BYU beat their hopeless counterpart, Utah, in Salt Lake City.
Clarissa Jarrett: On Saturday, November 22, 2008, the Utah Utes will absolutely obliterate the toe-jam-sucking, rotten, candy-eating losers of BYU.
Josh Valentine: The defending conference champions, BYU, are going to take down the Utah Utes on November 22, 2008, even though most everybody thinks Utah is a better team.
Ryan Kemp: On November 22, 2008, the spectacular Utah Utes are going to tackle their way to victory against the BYU Cougars.
Andrew Flint: On November 24, 2008, all the fans of the Utah Utes' team will come crying back to school because the amazing BYU Cougars will have tackled Brian Johnson until he had a concussion and because Austin Collie will have caught a touchdown with no time left in the game.
Annie Tanner: The overrated BYU amateurs will be stampeded and tackled by the fanstastic, unstoppable U of U team on November 22, 2008.
Samuel Stout: On November 22, 2008, the BYU team will kick the slow, fat, flabby Utah players' butts when they tackle them.
Tevin Rosenlof: On November 22, 2008, the Utah Utes will slaughter the excrutiatingly pathetic BYU Cougars.
Camry Godfrey: On Saturday, November 22, 2008, BYU thinks they can fast, pray, and have another miracle game against the undefeated Utes.
Tyler Lincoln: On November 22, 2008, the University of Utah is going down at the paws of the Cougars, and I will have ten more bucks in my pockets from weird Utah fans.
Colton Lewis: The Utah Utes, who are playing tackle football on November 22, 2008, are going to win that game.
Tim Hansen: On November 22, 2008, the undefeated Utah Utes slaughtered BYU in a one-sided battle.
Dallin Johnson: Something gives me the feeling that Tim will be rooting for Utah when the two teams are tackling each other at the game on November 22, 2008.

(For the record, Utah won the game 48-24.)
November 21, 2008: Comma Rule #8
Use commas to offset items in an address. (When the state is not at the end of a sentence, you must put a comma after it.)

[I G 4 pronoun animals]

Nicole Hyte: The local zoo (located next to Rodisio Grill) is located at 1185 King St., Ogden, Utah, and it has iguanas, giraffes, and pigs.
Moran Palmer: Last night Gina invited me over to her house at 999 String St., Hagerstown, West Viginia, so I could see her pet penguin.
Rosie Gerrish: The colloquial vegetarian Gerrishes (no eating animals!) of 954 Hillfield Road, Layton, Utah, decided it was time to play Twister, giant igloo style!
Josh Valentine: The animal shelter in Kaysville, Utah, gives away big gorillas named Gilroy, and I want one.
Bailey Davis: I ignorantly ignited his pig at 123 Igloo Avenue, Layton, Utah.
Samuel Stout: My tiger lives at 25 N. Fairfield Road, Kaysville, Utah, and he loves to eat penguins and iguanas.
Nate Hill: In the yard at 123 Fake Street, Helena, Montana, is where the tiger named Tigger digs holes for his dying friends.

November 10, 2008: Comma Rule #6
Use a comma to offset an introductory phrase or clause.

2nd Period: [M A 3 pronoun food/drink]

Kenzie Crow: After six o'clock, she had a large Thanksgiving dinner made with mashed potatoes, turkey, and homemade pumpkin pie.
Janette Jensen: After making meatballs, Maggie fed them to her dog Max.
Nick Munson: Because I was hungry, I made a meatball marinara sandwich for dinner.
Jessica Heslin: After making a bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich, Mary took it for her lunch.

3rd Period: [T I 3 preposition religion]

Emily LeCheminant: Because of the rain, she walked tiredly across the lawn toward a church, but she tripped over a tin can along the way.
Xavier Stillson: In point of fact, throwing stars at talkative people is a big part of the Ninjas' religion.
Jamison Walker: Truthfully speaking, the Christians studied their Bible on a train made of tin.

4th Period: [H I 3 pronoun movies/music]

Amanda Richins: In The Nutcracker, the Sugarplum Fairy dances to a high-pitched song with her hairy-chested man!
Mitch Allen: During the movie, Richard smacked me with a large rubber chicken.
Mackenzie Galbraith: During the orchestra concert, his pet chihuahua hit a wrong note on the cello because he was watching Dr. Phil.

5th Period: [N I 3 pronoun religion]

Nick Polson: Nice as she may be, Nicole has never read 3rd Nephi.

6th: [D I 3 pronoun animals]

Dallin Johnson: When Davis saw the dingo on the roof, he claimed it as his own.
Tim Hansen: According to my rabbit, who has them for dinner, dill pickles are delicious.
Samuel Stout: Well, you see, after he died, I went to Daniel's house, and we did the jitterbug.
Tevin Rosenlof: Because Dina wouldn't eat the questionable mystery meat, she fried and ate a turkey gizzard.
Matt Talbot: Becasue Dipsy died, they fed their Teletubbies tape to the dog.
Mr. T: Because Eddie didn't like dogs, he dined on cats.

7th Period: [I G 3 pronoun animals]

Payton Allen: Because he enjoys the taste, my pet gorilla drank vinegar straight from the bottle.
Jason Moss: Because he was so lonely, Igor bought a giant pet iguana.
Robby Platt: Walking into the barn, she started laughing at the wiggling chicken.
Shay Thurgood: Since Mr. Thompson is a big giggling baboon, Brandon (my boyfriend) and I gladly brought him an aligator.

November 5, 2008: Comma Rule #5
Use commas to separate words, phrases, and clauses in a series.

2nd Period: [R I 3 conjunction music/movies]

Livvy Gerrish: In the Gerrish household, we are all ridiculous, so we listen to the Rigid Rich Rabbits, the Hollywood Hillbillies, and the Juggling Jewish Frogs.
Alicia Parker: The irreversible curse rid the world of music, caused the instantaneous combustion of teachers, and provided all-you-can-eat ice cream.
Jeremy Benson: After the movie, I hurried back to the car, picked up my book, and started reading Brisingr.
Kenzie Crow: While watching the Chronicles of Narnia, we ate popcorn, Smarties, and soup.
Elias Robinette: After ridding the world of ridiculous, irritating, and boring movies, I ate ice cream.
Taurus Jones: We will blast our radios and dance to Goodnight Nurse, the Killers, and Metrostation.

3rd Period: [F E 3 conjunction movies/music]

Emily LeCheminant: My mom made me listen to freaky music that made me pick my feet up, flee outside, dance around the house, and run back in to turn the music off.
Olivia Bitner: When my best friend Fred came over to my house, we listened to Fergie on my iPod, watched The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, and ate a turkey sandwich.
Carly Benesch: While watching the movie, I noticed that my flexible friend Maddy's feet smellled like moldy yogurt, sweat, and outhouse all in one.
Anthony Zenger: The new movie I made contained burrowing ferrets, fencing freaks, and fetching dogs.
Orlando Rodriguez: Why do haunted mansions always have a bookshelf that moves, a freaky eye that looks at you through a picture, and a knight that makes you flee?

4th Period [E H 3 conjunction religion]

Alexis Nelson: After church I took a shower, read my scriptures, and helped make the dinner.
Brad Nye: The priest picked up his Bible, his cross, and his horrible book about Heaven and Hell.
Mitch Gunty: In the outhouse behind the church lived flies, spiders, and the bishop.
Audrey Kaczor: After humiliating Hera, Hades grabbed his wife Persephone and fled with Poseidon.
Kalei Santore: I hope to go to Heaven when I die in my sleep, jump off a cliff, or get shot out of a cannon.
Kathie Cardenas: Heaven is a place of happiness, non-selfishness, and love.
Mackenzie Galbraith: The Pope was held accountable for having hate towards helpless horses, etching the name Helga on the church, and making a hassle for the janitors with his hamster collection.
Mitch Allen: Upon arriving in Heaven, Herbert saw angels, golden gates, and men in white robes.
Ryan Kemp: While people go to church, I either snowboard, skateboard, or play Guitar Hero with friends.

5th Period: [A M 4 conjunction animals]

Norm Adams: Zoos in America do mean things to animals, such as baking them in ovens, selling them to Michael Jackson, and feeding them to wild bores.
Sidnie Squires: I pulled a manatee, many cows, and a magical monkey out of my magic hat.
Taelor Richards: If you make the animals mad, they might bite, punch, or kick you, man!
Dax Steidley: The lamb said he did not like ham, Campbell's Soup, or salmon.
Kaitlyn Brough: Since I am basically married to an ape, I have to wash clothes, vacuum, and buy him many bananas.
Jessica Andrus: Pam owns a lamb named Sam, a cat named Pat, and a mysterious looking mammal animal.

6th Period [I D 5 conjunction animals]

Kelsey Fawson: My friend Dixie tried to dissect spiders, rats, and worms.
Mo Vance: The spider dilligently swerved, dove, and plunged as it tried to weave its web.
Brittany Fisher: Did you know that I hurried to Dillon's house, ate dinner, and fed my dying goldfish in one hour?
Maddie Nielsen: David didn't plan on eating dill pickles, dime-sized crackers, or delicious cake, and neither did his dog.
Alix Perez: I don't know much about animals, but I do know that spiders are weird, birds can fly, and sloths are stupid.
Angela Strand: At my friend's house, I kissed an idiotic kid that had a spider on his head; then I washed my face, rinsed my mouth, and bushed my teeth.
Dani Catrow: Dani didn't remember to feed her spider monkey, her dingo dog, or her crocodile.
Kaitlyn Carnahan: Today I went to my friend's house, but before I left, I picked up my idiotic kid, my ID, and my dog.

7th Period: [E B 4 conjunction religion]

Shaylee Franks: In my religion we believe that you have to befriend others, observe the Bible, and be temperate.
Shay Thurgood: Since I love him so much, I know that Brandon's idea of Heaven includes fighting big bears, dragon beasts, and horrifying beagles.
Mindy Munson: The bishop who barely made it through the day went to rehab because he drank beer, smoked cigarettes, and danced all night.
Ashley Kotter: Beth believes in the Bible because Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John testified similar truths.
Lauren Thaler: Beth borrowed her brother's Bible, read it, and then went to church.

November 3, 2008: Comma Rule #4
Use commas to offset appositives (words or phrases that refer to the same person or thing).

2nd Period: [T U 3 pronoun sports]

Kody Baetge: My Utes, a great team, play TCU on Thursday.
Austin Coburn: Texas Christian University, the whimpy horned frogs, are in for trouble when they come into town Thursday to play the Runnin' Utes.
Elias Robinette: On Tuesday, we toured the rodeo, a barbaric "sporting" event, where we watched buttered pig wrestling.

3rd Period: [R U 3 interjection sports]

Julie Dyer: Golly! The quarterback of the univeristy's football team, a pretty big hunk of heaven, is on drugs!
Orlando Rodriguez: Wow! The University of Utah, the best school in Utah besides Layton, will crush and crunch BYU when they play them.
Morgan Palmer: Hey! Urkel, the guy who looked surprisingly like a turtle, was really good at basketball.
Jordan Brown: Geez! Your University of Utah, the worst team ever, got busted for drugs again.
Garrett Bigelow: Hey! Pull the curtain on that drug addict, the Miami Dolphins' "courageous" Dan Marino, and pull him off the stage!
Justin Meyers: Hurray! Lorenzo De Silva, a soccer player and my favorite uncle, courageously scored our winning goal.

4th Period: [N I 4 preposition sports]

Carley Davis: On Brigham Young University territory, Lavell Edwards Stadium, the fine cougars will win against the whining Utes.
Clarissa Jarrett: Winnie the Poo, the crazy lion killer, was playing tennis inside the donut shop.
Mackenzie Galbraith: Our goalie, the big sweating thing, is in the running for University Streaking King.
Audry Kaczor: His university, a tennis- and cinema-loving place, is into extreme winning.
Jordan Klepzig: The Knights who say Ni, the strange group of loonies, were engaged in a violent tennis match.

5th Period: [M A 4 adverb food/drink]

Greg Howard: The Madagascar tamale, a really spicy item, will burn the mouth of the typical American male.
Christian Tanner: Margaret, my American mom, made me eat matches quickly.
Nick Polson: Ma's famous guinea pig, an awesome South American food, is what most Americans would think of as rather disgusting.
Norm Adams: American, an amazingly famous cheese, is my preffered choice when it comes to frantically smearing Ma's face.
Thomas Roberts: Manicotti, a popular macaroni-type dish, is made mainly of tomatoes.
Kristin Wallin: Max, the American, mixes mustard and mayonnaise daily.
Sidnie Squires: McDonald's, the American fast food restaurant, stubbornly refuses to serve macaroni, tamales, or margaritas.
Kaitlyn Brough: Maile, a little girl famous for always surprising us, took a big bite from a stick of margarine that we were using to make a recipe.

6th Period: [U B 4 preposition movies/music]

Dani Catrow: It bugged me when we were singing a song, "One Step," on the bus and the kid in front of me stuck his butt in my bubble.
Justin Taylor: His play, A Buddah Without an Umbrella, was unblievably dumb.
Matt Talbot: Bubba, an unbearably annoying butthead, sang on the bus.
Maddie Nielsen: Buzz, a dumb bumble bee, starred in the movie Bouncing Bus.

7th Period: [I H 4 conjunction WILD]

Payton Allen: My hairy little brother, the hippie, thinks he is hilarious, but he isn't.
David Steed: Brandon Halbritter, a fishy neighborhood hitman, has a fear of lights and hippos.
Robby Platt: I, a super flying fish, will devour anything and everything at night.
Jason Moss: Hillary's neighbor, a hideous fish, thinks hipps and happiness are made in China.
Shay Thurgood: Mr. Halbritter, a fascinating classmate of mine with whom I am madly in love, is a knight that rescues fat hippos instead of fat brides, but he believes fat brides look like puffer fish with all that extra cheek they carry.

October 24, 2008: Colon Rules #3 & 4
Use a colon to emphasize or clarify a word, phrase, or clause. (A complete sentence must come before the colon!)
Use a colon to introduce a list only after a complete sentence. (A complete sentence must come before the colon!)

[I J 3 adjective wild] and/or [O N 4 conjunction movies/music]

(Curtis Carter) This is my opinion: Monkeys can't inject sugar cane into the jangling trunk of a Jewish elephant.

(Anna Carter) Jill's jangling keys rattled as she walked past a sign at the jail: No keys allowed.

(Michael Southwick) This is a fact: You should not inject yourself with a disease that can injure your joints.

(Jessica Andrus) This is a Jewish nursery rhyme: Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came jangling after.

(Amanda Richins) Christmas Eve was a little different: It consisted of judging Jewish caroling jigglers.

(Grace Bertch) The juvenile hijacked the following: jellies, pie, and cake.

(Dallin Johnson) I own albums from the following bands: Journey, Boston, and Kiss.

(Tim Hansen) Journey has some amazing members: Jonathan Caine, Arnel Pineda, Deen Castronovo, Ross Valory, and Neil Schon.

(Chantry Goodrich) The jive was getting jiggy: Kate was dementedly dancing on the table, Mark had broken a lamp, and Bill was flopping like dehydrated fish.

(Tevin Rosenlof) My evil cousin Joneara had a list that read as follows: bat's blood, tiger bones, elephant toenail, and deviled pig.

(Chloe Kelson-Packer) She did enjoy watching soap operas but preferred Japanese animation titles: Death Note, Kodocna, and Clamado.

(Garry Gregson) Please buy me breakfast: jiggling jello, Jewish eggs, and injured cheese.

(Amanda Rice) Here are some things I love about soccer: juggling, jumping to head the ball, and juking out people.

(Clarissa Jarret) Jessica would like to inject the following in your arm: a purple people eater, Michael Jackson, a Jewish rap star, and Elton John.

October 23, 2008: Colon Rule #1
Use a colon after the salutation of a business letter.

[ES5 pronoun animals]
In other words, write a sentence that illustrates Colon Rule #1, contains five words with the letters E and S, is about animals, and contains a pronoun.

(Jadie Ward) Dear Mr. Scarecrow: The Ravens' Environmentalism Society is rejecting your proposal to be transported to a crow-free farm. They like you.

(Elias Robinette) Dear Mrs. Nelson: I am writing to ascertain the estimated score you’re giving my Geologic Times Critter.

(Garrett Bigelow) Dear Mr. Scott Oswell: I am writing to discover whether or not you have decided to rendezvous with me at Omar’s Park to see my new snake.

(Elisabeth Stucki) Dear Mom: I am very sorry, but I have been suspended for flushing snakes down porcelain unmentionables because I wanted to have some fun.

(Laethan Lappin) Mrs. Smith: Ladies get rabies from camels because they don’t like horses who play on golf courses.

(Nate Hill) Dear Mr. VonHasselburg: My hamster disappeared in your yard last week, and you served me a platter of some questionable meat the next day.

(Tim Hansen) Dear Ernesto: Please excuse my dog Chester for sleeping on your sister.

(Tevin Rosenlof) Dear Mr. Anderson: We need to rid ourselves of these horses and these annoying chickens.

(Jason Moss) Dearest Tess: Some horses assume salutations are simple, but I strongly disagree.

October 23, 2008: Colon Rule #2
Use a colon between the hours, minutes, and seconds of a number indicating time.

[OL3 preposition sports]
In other words, write a sentence that illustrates Colon Rule #2, contains three words with the letters O and L, is about sports, and contains a preposition.

Old Oliver Lovegood of the Florida Panthers died at 4:15 yesterday afternoon. (Adam Wilson)

The long, lousy football game began at 7:00 P.M. (Jessica Heslin)

The owl flew over the basketball court at 3:15 and made Oliver foul his opponent. (Trenton Chirstensen)

Yesterday I went bowling at 2:30, and sitting beside me was this old lady who looked like a wrinkled t-shirt. (Justin Meyers)

I love to play football in my school gym class, which starts at 2:05. (Nashleigh Gittins)

At exactly 12:00 P.M. on November 22nd, the extraordinary Utah Utes will be ready to smother the long lost losers of BYU. (Amanda Richins)

As 9:00 P.M. loomed, Oliver and I prepared to streak across Lions’ Stadium with our Dolphin friends. (Mitch Allen)

The water polo game is at 3:30, right after old Mr. Olsen unlocks the pool. (Lauren Thaler)

October 23, 2008: Colon Rule #5
Use a colon between a title and a subtitle, chapter and verse, and volume and page.

[EP3 adjective religion]
In other words, write a sentence that illustrates Colon Rule #5, contains three words with the letters E and P, is about religion, and contains an adjective.

Mr. T: While Mythology: Timeless Tales of Gods and Heroes by Edith Hamilton perfectly represents ancient beliefs, please don't refer to it as a religious text.

Mitchel Porter: Although Jesus said sardines are perfect pets and great snacks in 4:17 of his epistle to James, I, Mitchel Porter, refuse to eat the slimy fish.

Rachelle Stewart: While it is exceptionally long, Peter 1:5 contains a prophesy.

Julissa Wilcox: In Nephi 1:1, it says “I, Nephi, having been born of goodly parents….”

David Steed: In Nephi 3:7, Nephi says he will keep our commandments like the apostles did.

Lauren Waters: Mrs. Cobia pressures her 2nd period class to do pages and pages of the boring chapter 6:1-4 as though biology should be our religion.

Garry Gregson: The major loss of periwinkle flowers caused an epidemic because elephants were reading Ephesians 4:2.

Brady Roth: The Pope read some dope scriptures from Matthew 5:5-8.

Jimmy Cardinal: According to Revelations 12:4-8, the pigeons pecked powerfully after being blessed.

October 23, 2008: Colon Rule #6
Use a colon to indicate an announcement is to follow.

[AH4 adverb food/drink]
In other words, write a sentence that illustrates Colon Rule #6, contains five words with the letters A and H, is about food or drink, and contains an adverb.

(Alicia Parker) Highway Hazard Ahead: The happily heavy chocolate elephant runs amok.

(Mitchel Porter) Warning: Although Preparation H seems creamy, delightful, and tasty, it is not heavenly or meant to be absorbed orally due to the heat it will cause in your stomach.

(Adam Wilson) Halt: Drinking trashy hard liquor happily leads to death.

(Carly Benesch) Warning: Each time you hesitantly eat that hairy, moldy corn dog, you come closer to death.

(Xavier Stillson) Hazard: Very Happy, Hairy Hamburgers!

(Amanda Richins) Danger: The McDonald’s hamburger has extremely hairy hacked human parts.

(Andrew Weese) Halt: No half-eaten very hairy hamburgers in Hank’s tent!

(Jessica Andrus) Warning: Do not listen to Mrs. Brinkerhoff, drinking her coke, breathlessly explain why the earth has happy science.

(Anna Carter) Hazard: Water may be very flammable, so please keep it away rather than having it close.

(Andrew Flint) Hazard: Huge hairy hats will attack you ferociously if you step on the wet floor at Hank’s Happy Deli.

(Lauren Thaler) Warning: Very harmful hamburgers are hazardous to health.

(Ashley Kotter) Hazard: We shant run fast while eating hamburgers because we might have to perform the Heimlich.

October 13, 2008: Comma Rule #3
Use commas to offset parenthetical or interrupting material within a sentence.

[LA4 movies/music pronoun]
In other words, write a sentence that illustrates Comma Rule #3, contains four words with the letters L and A, is about movies or music, and contains a pronoun.

Madi Hyte: The song, which is a totally weird one, is about jailed animals that can talk.
Weiyi Le: The typical song, which includes bad language, made us laugh so hard we threw up our previous meal.
Kenzie Crow: We got a meal of popcorn, my favorite, as we watched a movie about a man who went to jail for stealing his neighbor's animal.
Connor Morgan: Last night, Lanae and I did algebra, which was hard, while listening to Metallica and Rush.
Tyler Young: After the trip to the zoo, which was supposed to be educational, we all climbed into the bus and listened to Al's I-pod instead of the teacher blabbing on in the front.
Lauren Waters (longest grammatically correct sentence of the day): The Dark Knight has lasted a longer time in theaters since it reached the 500-million-dollar mark 43 days faster than Titanic, and, although I haven't seen the movie lately, I think it deserves to be number one.
Jordan Parkinson: Her goal, which is to be done by the time she gets out of jail, is to never kill another harmless baby whale for her next meal. (not about music or movies, but still funny)
Garett Bigelow: The Shawshank Redemption, both a movie and an ideal novella, is about an innocent man who is thrown in jail for murder and hatches a plan to escape on his own.
Justin Meyers: My grandpa, while laughing hysterically, told me about the moose whose goal was to be a rock star.
Elisabeth Stucki: Larry, with his giant snail eyes, watched the Late Night Bikini Bottom News last Tuesday.
Brad Nye: Today, if my parents let me, I am going to the movies to laugh and talk with my animal friends.
Krysta Eskelson: My Name is Earl, a hilarious TV show, talks about him trying to be moral.
Jordan Klepzig: Last time I went to the mall, a graciously short time ago, I went to the horror film festival.
Mackenzie Galbraith: Music in general, as long as it is not flat, is the language of the oral gods.
Mitch Allen: I hope the movie we're seeing, the one that is rated R, will be inlaid with the lankiest language my soon-to-be-bawling friends have ever heard.
Haley Boisjolie: Earl, who weighs 500 pounds, is so fat he practically inhales his movie meals.
Norm Adams: Last weekend, after I mailed a koala bear to my aunt, I listened to some naughty language in a weird song.
Jadie Ward: He had talked to the platypus, which is an ugly animal, and laughed lyrically at its appearance.
Eric Christensen: Earl and Hal, the kind of people everyone hates, laughed at the lame moral of the movies.
Samuel Stout: Joan is a colorectal surgeon, a most taxing job, but she still works with zeal so she can get real salt on her movie popcorn.
Nate Hill: The llama, even though he was very fat from his meals of lard, landed a deal as host of a weight loss show.
Robby Platt: Mr. LaFontaine, who is the Earl of Laughter, unleashes walls of "hilarious" jokes for his students.
Brianna Price: My brother and I, thankfully not my mother, saw a laughable movie called Earl the Salt Eater.
Dean Carver: Aladdin, with his morale greatly hurt, said, "I'm going to jail."
Ashley Kotter: Her goal is to write a song in a different language, preferably Spanish, which will include a good moral.

October 10, 2008: Comma Rule #2
Use a comma to separate adjectives that modify the same noun.

[BO4 food/drink adjective]
In other words, write a sentence that illustrates Comma Rule #2, contains four words with the letters B and O, is about food or drink, and contains an adjective.

Mitch Allen: Obviously, poop is a horrible, disgusting, oblong substitute for bacon.
Jordan Brown: I was stealing a big, brown, choclatey candy bar from behind the vending machine, when I got my body stuck because of my bodacious hips.
Brandon Halbritter: My boring, bony, rebellious brother ate some bacon and got a boil.
Justin Taylor: How can you force that horrible, boiled, brown booger into your body?
Brittany Fisher: The book was about a noble boy who ate a gruesome, slimy worm.
Tevin Rosenlof: "That is horribly wrong!" exclaimed Brandon, as he ate the blackish-brown, boogery jello.
Bryan Beal: Boiled, horrible, disgusting boogers are bad for the body.
Courtnee Wood: Brooke broke down in tears after her boyfriend gave her a box of bloody, rotten, broken bones.
Anna Carter: You better not eat that gob of booger on that sizzling, greasy, yummy-looking bacon.
???: Bob's body was in shock after boiling his hand instead of the raw, uncooked, brown rice.

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